9.7Susan M. Hais

Co-parenting after divorce is a good option to not only keep both parents in a child’s life, but to help parents transition their own lives smoothly. However, co-parenting requires a team effort to work. One mistake and the whole thing can implode. If you are trying to make co-parenting work after you divorce, you should avoid these three mistakes.

Losing Your Temper

It can be difficult to put aside all the emotions of a divorce and focus on the children, but to be successful at co-parenting, it needs to be done. Instead of letting anger rule over you and constantly fighting in front of your children, admit when you are wrong and apologize when necessary. This will often help de-escalate a situation and sets a good example for your children on how to handle conflicts.

Avoiding Communication

Some people may have a problem letting their emotions out and starting fights with their ex-spouse. Often this leads to fights and they figure to avoid fighting it is better to avoid talking. However, not communicating often causes miscommunication and even more contentious situations. Instead, it is often better to learn to communicate more appropriately. It is crucial to remember that communication need not be emotionally charged. As long as you communicate respectfully and convey all the crucial information, it can often avoid extra conflict.

Making Your Child Choose Sides

The fatal flaw to most co-parenting situations is using children to do what you would rather not. You may tell them to pass on a message or even go so far as to spoil them more, so they prefer time with you. However, this is not healthy behavior for your co-parenting relationship or your child’s development. Co-parenting is used so both parents are still involved in a child’s life. They should be able to foster natural relationship built on love and not post-divorce emotions and material things.

To learn more about co-parenting and how to make it work, contact us today.