When you are in the midst of a divorce, your mind can be overwhelmed with concerns for the future, confusion over what went wrong and the pain of separating from someone you may still love. Unfortunately, this can make you vulnerable to common mistakes that may threaten your future. Here are five mistakes you need to avoid during your divorce.
Divorce is a very emotional process, and that makes it hard to separate your logic from your feelings. When you are calm, take some time to write down what you need after the divorce. Include living expenses, child custody matters and anything else that is important to you. As you make this list, require yourself to rely on facts rather than feelings. If you find yourself becoming over emotional, ask a friend to help.
It may also help you to consider your situation through someone else’s eyes. Try viewing your divorce from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know you.
Avoid letting other people ignite your emotions.
Letting the Kids Slip
When you are focused on your own pain, it can be easy to forget the needs of your children. This is especially true when kids seem to be handling the situation well.
While it’s true that kids are resilient, it’s also true that they need special care and consideration during this time. A divorce can be incredibly traumatic for your kids.
Don’t forget to consider factors like continuing to live in the same school district or staying close to activities that are important to them. Do not allow yourself to degrade the other parent, no matter the circumstances. It has nothing to do with respecting your soon to be ex spouse but is always in the best interest of your children.
It also makes sense to get your children to counseling so they can have help processing the situation.
Not Understanding Finances
When one spouse has controlled the money in the marriage, it is easy for the other person to get taken advantage of financially. Make it your business to find out everything about your marital finances.
Get copies of bank statements and retirement accounts. Contact your spouse’s human resources department for information on payments made. Go over previous years’ taxes for clues to accounts you may not know about. Gather all credit card statements to determine who is responsible for what. Understand which bills get paid and when.
Do not attempt to hide any bank accounts, property or other assets from your spouse or from your attorney. This is simply setting yourself up for future problems and really isn’t fair to your spouse or children.
Disclose all of your financial information to your attorney from the beginning.
Your tax situation will change dramatically after you get a divorce. You will suddenly be responsible for reporting your taxes in a different way, and you and your spouse will have to make decisions about who will claim the children and how joint assets will be divided for tax purposes.
Your divorce could mean saving money on your taxes, so be sure to consult a professional about the best way to handle it.
These 5 common errors can make your divorce more difficult than it has to be. Be sure you are making the right choices when it comes to getting your divorce in order. Contact Hais, Hais & Goldberg for more information.